I miss you, our birthday celebration was good, we had a cake with our pictures on it from when we were kids, we sang to you and had a toast, it broke my heart an I cried..but i'm sure you would cry for me too. It was awful you not being there or on the other end of the phone, it was awful not getting a birthday card, I got you one but I don't know where to send it :( words can't describe how much I miss you and sometimes I need you here so badly it makes me physically ache but most of the time I am happy so don't be worrying ok :) I hope to God you are in a better place and not even looking back at this sometimes so cruel, crap place. You mean the world to me dead or alive and 1 day I'll be dead too an I know you'll be there waiting for me :) can't wait, see you in about 60 yrs I reckon, miss you bro, love you darling :) :( :0 :* :* xxxxxxxx